More Ways to Gain Control of Your Life
Five More Ways to Help Gain Control of your Life
By Charles L Harmon
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When things just don’t seem to be going our way we often wonder who is in control. It’s been said that if we are not in control of our lives, then someone else is. If that’s true, we certainly don’t want someone else in control of our lives. To avoid the prospect of losing control entirely, we must take some steps to correct the situation. Here are a few tips that will point you to the road of your own self control.
1. Practice Love and Affection (Your Friends and Family)
You don’t have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn’t touch! Personal touch does make a difference.
2. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help Someone in Need
Everyone feels good when they help someone. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your energy to help others. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return. Too many have expounded on that for it not to have meaning.
3. Use Interruptions to Combat Thinking of Negative Outcomes
If you find yourself frequently focusing on what could go wrong with something or how a situation could go against you, a great way to stop is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Do not hyper-focus on something negative. It’s never productive, because it’s not rational or solution-oriented, it’s just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.
4. Look for Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking. However we can never be sure. Our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member’s bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don’t waste your time worrying you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is actually something to worry about.
5. Try Not to Use Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner or a friend “You’re always late!” or complained to a friend “You never call me!”? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like makes the situation seem worse than it is. Refrain from using ‘always’ and ‘never’ and it will go a long way to ease any tensions between others and yourself. It will keep your brain from believing that certain people are incapable of delivering if you don’t associate them with always late, never on time, etc.
If you’re prone to losing control to situations when you know of feel you should have had the situation go your way then you need to gain more control of what happens to you. Take a hint from the above tips and make a conscious effort to exert some control over the situations you find yourself in.
About the Author
Charles is a software developer. He also writes articles for websites. A growing interest of his is online dating - visit http://unlonely.com. If you travel or wish to travel, visit Travellistics - http://Travellistics.com. Charles is writing about the real life story of Mr. Q, someone with Alzheimer’s disease.
Published by admin on June 19th, 2008 tagged Goal Setting | Comment now »
Gain Control of your Life
Five Ways to Help Gain Control of your Life
By Charles L Harmon
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|
Do you ever feel that you are either losing or not in control of yourself or your situation? When things do not seem to be going our way this is a common feeling. “Just who is the Boss?” So often it seems that we are not truly the boss because so many things are not going our way.
Here are five ways to help gain control of yourself and your situation. Things such as time management, goal setting, record tracking and positive thinking.
Many of us develop negative thinking patterns when we become frustrated by our challenges and feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it harder for us to manage the sometimes tough challenges we face. We need to get past those and move forward.
Practicing positive thinking allows us to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This in turn allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck in a rut. Here are a few tips or suggestions that you can use to help you shift into a more positive thinking frame of mind
1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It’s much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.
2. Be Grateful: There ARE things to be Grateful for, aren’t there?
Stresses and challenges don’t seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.
3. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing your social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way! Don’t stay home and mope. Get out. Even such things as going to the movies (not sad ones) can help. Make some new friends if you don’t have any. Being conversational will help in that regard. Try to be outgoing.
4. Squash the “ANTs”
In his book “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” Dr. Daniel Amen talks about “ANTs” - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like “This letter is from the IRS, it must be bad news” or “The boss wants to see me in her office? It must be bad!” When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!
5. Eliminate or Reduce Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can’t hold any power over you if you don’t entertain or judge them. When you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, don’t follow it. Replace it with a positive thought. It may not be easy, but if you can replace all your negative thoughts with related positive thoughts you are well on your way to regaining real control of yourself.
If your current situation seems out of your control you must make some changes and these simple tips can help bring about the needed changes. Next time you have a moment to yourself read and reflect on these suggestions. Make a conscious effort to implement them whenever you can and it will go a long way toward changing your situation for the better.
About the Author
Charles is a software developer. He also writes articles for websites. One of his favorite interests is using the Internet for online dating - visit http://unlonely.com. For garden articles and information visit My Garden Delight to glean garden information. Charles is writing about the real life story of Mr. Q, someone with Alzheimer’s disease.